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A wise person once said to me first focus on who you are then on what you are.

Male (43) looking for Female Kempton Park, South Africa

Who I am is a man struggling in a world that seems against me.
I love women, I enjoy their scent, form and feel of their skin. I enjoy female company, emotions, thoughts and most especially I miss having one special lady to call mine.
I feel things deeply and need a mate not a casual partner. I want to fall in love and be committed and cannot do the whole 'one-night-stand' thing that most other men can do. I like romance and the gentle exploration of mind and emotion of each other. I like seeing how much I can make you feel, how far can we go and what are our boundaries and limits are to push through and past. I want to explore and take each step with reverence and care with someone who trusts and loves me.
I never did the whole go out and party thing, or drink myself stupid on a regular basis. Never did hard drugs, smoked weed a couple of times and let me say, I am sure smoking with friends is quite fun but doing alone sucks a bit, maybe I will find out one day.
I have been a shit load in my life, depression, suicide attempts, the all consuming loneliness and emptiness that comes along with it. I don't judge anyone for anything - the path your on is one made by the choices you made and the experiences you have had, I have not experienced what you have, so I can not judge.
Though the soul crushing hopelessness and the feeling that maybe I am too broken to be loved, that the empty void within me will never be filled , I still have hope that somewhere out there, and in this lifetime I will find My missing piece.
I am a true believer in love and beauty within, they have not driven that from me yet.
Now the 'what I am' -
I am a middle aged white guy ( 38 in May 2018 ) living in South Africa.
I live with my parents. ( Yes but circumstances has forced me to do so and I have a roof over my head, and not for free either mind you so ... )
I rarely drink but I do smoke much more than I should do.
I have held down a steady boring job for the last 16 years so know how to commit to the 'for better or worse' side of things.
I have no real life friends, and My social skills leaves much to be desired of.
Some see Me as a recluse or I come across as creepy and overly negative but I do try not to ...I am divorced, 8 years now, and a father of 2 children, daughter 14 and son 11.
Ex-wife and I are not on very good terms, she has custody and I have full visitation which doesn't happen often as I would like and I miss them terribly. I feel I would be a good gentle Father to my children if I was allowed.
My ex-wife was going to be 'forever' and the 'love of my life' but it didn't work out that way. If you are, like me, you will understand how this messes you up for a while.
I have scuba dived and studied many ancient religions and old cults. I did well at school and like to explore a variety of different subjects since. From nutrition, graphic design and creative writing to Paganism, Egyptian history and the darker side of things. I am into movies, series and gaming. I dabble a bit in writing( dream of getting published one day maybe with your help I will ) and Photoshopping, astrology and chainmaille making.
I have had several online relationships that ended painfully and some very nastily and for some strange up reason I still believe in love.
Since I am a extreme Introvert and moving around while in primary school, I find it ... difficult opening up to people and making real friends, so this is seriously difficult for me.
I am sarcastic at times, sort of twisted dirty humor, it gets me into a lot of trouble, if saying the wrong thing to the wrong person and the wrong time was a skill, I have just about mastered that and have got several scars both internal and external over this. If you think a comment I make somewhere could not be serious, it probably wasn't.
I am a outcast amongst the outcast.
I am looking for a place I can belong. People who won't abandon me and will stand by Me in My time of need. A Love, a deep lifetime committed, till death do us part, love … I am told these things don't exist any more, please prove me wrong.

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Public Sex preferences

Favorite public sex places:INSTA = lonelydaddy.jhb
The riskiest place I've had a sexual encounter:Sex in a Dressing Room at Mr price at month end

Appearance

EthnicityCaucasian / White
National heritageSouth African
BuildA few extra pounds
Height170 cm
Eye ColorGrey
Hair ColorSalt and pepper
Hair LengthShort
Facial HairShaved
Best featureEyes
Body ArtPierced... but only ear(s), Visible tattoo
Health ConditionDepression
Endowment (length)Average
Endowment (width)Average
CircumcisedNo
My AttractivenessAverage

Situation

Relationship StatusSingle
Has childrenTwo
Wants kidsNot sure
Housing SituationThere is no noise
Living ArrangementsWith parent(s)
Wants to RelocateYes
AvailabilityYour Place
Has a carNo

Education & Employment

EducationHigh school Diploma - GED or equivalent
SpecialtyAdministrative / Management
Employment StatusFull-time

Looking For

I prefer:Intelligence, Humor, Spontaneity, Flirtatiousness, Thoughtfulness
My perfect matchAre you out there?

I’ve known I am a dominant man for a while. However, it’s taken a while to come to terms with exactly what that might mean. I’ve taken some time to think and learn about what it is and how I plan to intertwine it into my life. Now that I have that figured out, I’m looking for an amazing woman who I would be honored to call my submissive.

I have experience in this lifestyle and know what I want. I’m looking for a deep connection with incredible chemistry and trust. I’m mature enough to understand that this takes time to develop. I have the skills and knowledge to train you as a true submissive and teach you how to incorporate that into your life. Please don’t think that means changing who you are – I would never do that to anyone! Think of it as simply adding another dimension to your already beautiful soul and getting to know me in a way no one else can

But, I do know that I have to prove I’m worthy of your submission first before you offer me your greatest gift.

This is not just about dominance or sex. I’m looking for the whole thing. I will be your greatest friend and we will complement each other in a way we never thought possible. A vanilla on the outside relationship with incredible chemistry and deep trust in each other that revolves around a private D/s dynamic and connection that intertwines us in every way.

The friendship, humor, passion, inside jokes, honesty, sexuality, openness, the freedom. I want it ALL – I know you do to!

Is it possible to have all of that? I know it is!! I do know that it will take incredibly hard work between us. We’ll have to learn to live with each others quirks and slowly start to enjoy them. It means being partners and helping each other and supporting them to achieve what they didn’t think was possible. Mention your favorite couple in your reply. The melding of two people together is never easy, but if the right two people find each other then a relationship unobtainable by all others is possible.

I don’t care who you are or what you are or where you live or your social status. I only care that you want this same thing to the very core of your being. I realize that you may not have experience in this lifestyle or know much about submission, don’t worry though as every journey has a starting point. The fact that you’re still reading shows that you very much want this type of connection with someone as well – don’t you owe it to yourself to find out more?

White Woman no older than 36
I want complete and total honesty.
Full communication.
Own transport a must.
Preferable in the East Rand / Kempton Park area but if your willing to travel.

This is not a financial agreement, this is a genuine relationship. If your looking for money, no matter how you paint it, or what you call it – I do no do whores.

This isn’t a one time off deal, that doesn’t have my interest what so ever.

BDSM Preferences

I'm turned on byA combination of all, Sadism / Masochism (S&M), Bondage / Discipline (B&D), Domination / Submission (D&S)
My role isDominant
I am seekingA lifetime relationship (LTR)
I live the lifestyleOnly when I can
Experience levelIntermediate
I enjoyBiting, body worship, Bondage, Branding, Breast / nipple torture, Candle wax, Collar & lead / leash, Confinement / caging, Defilement, Depilation / shaving, Enemas / douching / klismaphilia, Fisting, Food play, Genital torture, Hair pulling, Hot wax, Kidnapping, Mummification, Needle play, Physical humiliation, Piercing, Power exchange, Sensory deprivation, Spanking, Suspension, Tickling games, Verbal humiliation, Voyeurism, Whipping
Open To Photos & VideosDepends on the partner

Fetishes

FetishesLactation, Piercings, Smoking, Voyeurism, Other

Sexual Activities

Night life:Don't like going out

Sexual Interests

CybersexEvery once in a while
Oral Sex isIt's how I get aroused
Anal sex isGives me the best orgasms
Sex toys:Office supplies, Pocket pussy, Vibrating eggs/bullets
Size matterSometimes, depends on the person

Spanking Preferences

Kind of spanking:Dominant / Submissive Spanking
Role:I prefer doing the spanking
Use safety words:Sometimes
Turns me on:Be surprised and taken without any warning
Include sex and orgasm:Always
Positions:OTK - Over the knee, Over a chair / bed / desk, Hands bracing ankles or knees, Over the masters lap, Head or waist between legs, Lying on back with legs raised towards chest, Handcuffed to bed, Tied to doorway, Tied to something outside in a safe area, Legs in splits position
Implement:Hand, Cane, Hairbrush, Belt, Other
Response:Tears
Pain level:Heavy Marks